Extreme Strollering

There is a new sport just waiting to burst on the world scene. It is a high stakes, lightning fast balancing act with big risks and big rewards. There are a few early adapters, and I happen to be one of them. Be prepared to see Extreme Strollering on your favorite sports station soon.

The goal of Extreme Strollering is a graceful blend of speed and finesse. Points are not merely awarded for arriving at a destination the quickest, but also upon the way in which the obstacles, challenges, and participants are all handled. When the fans watch these athletes move with speed, agility, and grace, everyone realizes they have been spectators to more than a sport. They were in the presence of beauty itself.

One of the advantages for this recent sport is the ability to mix training and everyday life. This enables teams to train year around. Tournaments are held in realistic environments, mirroring normal life. Typical meets take place in mall settings, parks, and restaurants. Semi final and other ranking events are scattered around the world in cobble stoned villages, multi-level zoos, bustling metropolises, and theme parks. And of course we could never forget the international championships which take place yearly in a mock Russian subway.

Extreme Strollering is a team sport which requires the utmost in physical and emotional training. Both the pusher and the pilot need to be on point. Things can get rough and more than one contender has been inched out by a poorly timed tantrum, a thrown shoe or sock, or an overly ambitious pusher on a tight schedule. This isn’t a sport for the weak of heart. It takes dedication, determination, and just the right amount of fruit snacks. Every year we see that what separates the winners from the losers is the ability of both teammates to surmount their physical and emotional obstacles. You can’t go it alone.

As in any sport there are a myriad of levels ranging from the novice to the elite. You may see beginners walking around your hometown, just starting their training. Typically they have large, luxury strollers with a duffle sized gear bag hanging from the throttle. As teams progress you will notice the slimming down of the equipment until you arrive at the elite “umbrella” stage. Essentially the stroller, or as we like to call it, the “undertaker” is a finicky contraption composed of thin plastic tubing, light canvas, and fast rolling wheels with the most limited of safety devises on board. You are always only one push away from destruction. But the speed…Oh the speed! I would not recommend anyone try this advanced technique until they have gone through official training and have been certified by the WSA (World Strollering Association).

A special note about the doubles event. I personally have never engaged in the fascinating twins event, but it will surely take your breath away. Some of the top contenders have gone on to successful careers into both Olympic events and special forces military training.

As a father of three children I have had plenty of practice over the years. My equipment choices have matured as our children have aged. Life and street curbs have taught me a lesson or two, and I would like to think that I and my children are making this sport a little safer and perhaps a bit more popular. And remember, it is about speed and finesse. There is no point in getting there fast if you don’t get there in style.